Feds to Fill Local Elected Positions with Federal Employees

CPI, 06/15/2015 (Aaron Truthinson, staff writer)

Washington, D.C. - The U.S. Departments of Justice and Interior announced an operation today to begin phasing in a plan to replace local elected officials with federal employees. Citing a shortage of sufficiently capable and qualified people to fill local elected positions, the plan would fill these positions with qualified people in federal service.

DoJ spokesman Sam Sniffelder asked, “Why would local people want to have their lives run by the few incompetent locals willing to run for election when they could benefit from the experience and education available among the highly qualified, professional personnel in federal service?” Sniffelder noted that citizens would gradually come to accept federal employees filling positions such as mayors, county commissioners, sheriffs, and others. “The change-over should be barely noticeable,” he said “since so much of what these people do now is already controlled by federal regulations and strings attached to federal money.”

It is difficult to argue with that assumption since so much control over land, air, water, education, law enforcement, housing, health and healthcare, and other government interventions have been taken over by federal mandates, and by incentives associated with free federal money.

When some local citizens complained that they want to be able to vote for candidates for these offices, Sniffelder suggested that maybe citizens could be allowed to vote for one of two different federal employees to fill local positions. Filling such positions with federal employees will become very important, Sniffelder commented, especially for school boards of schools that resist federal control, such as the federal mandate that the universal “Common Core” curriculum be used in all schools, everywhere in the U.S. It will also be important for county commissioner seats in counties that resist implementation of Agenda 21.

“Since federal employees and decision-makers are so much smarter, more well-informed, more attuned to the evolving needs of the Nation, and more compassionate,” Sniffelder said, “they will bring a standardization to American life that can't help but move the Nation forward.” “And,” he continued, “federal employees from outside the area won't need to be so restrained in dealing with local dissidents since they won't need to stand for election or reelection.”

As is typical in federal service, Sniffelder said, it would be common to rotate such federal personnel around the U.S. frequently. This would serve two purposes: To prevent the federal employees from developing bonds with local geography or local people that would hinder application of standardized federal principles; and it would serve to deliver positive experience to where it is needed. “Who wouldn't be pleased, for example, to have a local official in charge who has genuine and successful experience with public housing in Detroit, with neighborhood integration in Chicago or Atlanta, or with law enforcement in Los Angeles?” Sniffelder asked.

There are certainly precedents for such regional federal involvement, especially including the federal management of public lands in the West and the federal responses to weather-related emergencies in the East.

“It is simply beyond the capacity of untrained local electeds to cope with our complex world,” Sniffelder concluded. “It is incumbent upon the federal government to fill this gap, forcefully if necessary. Why go to the trouble to continue to bind local elected officials with complex federal regulations when we can simply replace them with federal employees who already understand what is needed?”