Governor Steve Bullock
Helena, Montana

Dear Governor Bullock,

Since you announced your aspiration to become President, we note that you advocate much more gun control than you did when you were trying to convince Montana voters to elect you as our Governor.

Just like you "support" the Second Amendment, we support the First Amendment, but as with you and the Second, we support the First Amendment with reasonable and commonsense safeguards.

Because of these commonsense restrictions, you are no longer allowed to speak on government property, including within 1,000 feet of schools and buildings occupied by any level of government.  That would be just too dangerous.  You are also not allowed to speak in any other public place unless you have a government permit to do so.  Such a permit will only be granted if you have satisfactorily completed an approved training course about how to comply with writing and speech restrictions, about how to use your rights safely and responsibly.

You are no longer allowed to use amplification to enhance your speech, as such amplification is considered to be "high capacity" or "assault speech."  No microphones; no amplifiers.  You are no longer allowed to use any electronic means to write, record, or transmit your speech, since those mechanisms were not yet invented when the First Amendment was ratified.  Being a smart and capable guy, we're sure you can get by with a pen made from a turkey feather and the volume and reach of your natural voice.

Another common sense restriction will be what you may write or talk about.  We will have a committee assigned to review any proposed writing or proposed speech from you, in advance.  This committee will research your past writings and speech, and the proposed writing or speech, looking for any abuse or history of abuse.  If there is any such abuse or history, the committee will not approve your writing or speech.  If you attempt to write or speak without this advanced approval, you may be prosecuted for a crime, bankrupted with legal costs, put in a prison, and you will lose all of the rights we so graciously allow you.

Oh, and there will be a ten-day waiting period after your writing or speech has been approved by the committee before you will be allowed to share the writing with others or deliver the speech.  You may have composed the writing or speech in a moment of passion, and you may reconsider your intent or language after you've had a few days to cool down.

You will be allowed to speak to one person at a time, in a private setting, as long as you do not disturb others and the content of your speech is approved in advance.  And, you will be allowed to write as much as you want, as long as the writing is with a quill pen, is approved in advance by the committee, is reproduced only manually, and is carried only by foot or horse power, all following the ten-day cooling down period.  We will generously allow all of this, for now, because we fully support your First Amendment rights and because we do not wish to be unduly restrictive.

We hope you understand that these commonsense restrictions are best for everyone - for the public good.  You aren't opposed to the public good and everyone, are you?

If these commonsense restrictions don't solve whatever problems may be apparent or imagined, we will need to look at other possible restrictions.  We're not really coming for your First Amendment, but everyone demands that we solve the rampant problem of First Amendment abuse and solve it now.  Surely we must all bow to the majority of public opinion in this, don't you agree?

These reasonable and common sense limitations on the latitude you are allowed you under the First Amendment may be a mild inconvenience as you run for President, but this minor sacrifice by you is well worth the improved safety and security the rest of us will feel.

Sincerely yours,

The Public