Missoula City Council

Code of Conduct for Lawbreakers

The Missoula City Council adopts the following Code of Conduct for anyone intending to violate any federal, state, or local law. The Council urges all Missoula lawbreakers to read, understand, and comply with this Code of Conduct:

1.  Not committing crimes.  Laws are established for everyone's safety.  Lawbreakers should not break laws.  By not breaking laws, lawbreakers will display consideration for others and make themselves and everyone else safer.

2.  Awareness; compliance.  By agreeing to this Code of Conduct, all lawbreakers agree to not break laws.  Lawbreakers should locate and print a copy of this Code of Conduct and carry that copy with them always, so as to become familiar with the Code and have it always available for reference and compliance.

3.  No guns or other weapons.  Guns and weapons are bad, in part because they give lawbreakers an unfair advantage over unarmed victims.  That is socially irresponsible.  Lawbreakers should abstain from using guns or other weapons giving them an unfair advantage for their lawbreaking.

4.  Strength, numbers, or stealth.  Lawbreakers sometimes use the advantages of strength, numbers, or stealth to dominate their victims.  This is socially irresponsible too because it's just not fair.  Lawbreakers should abstain from using an advantage of strength, numbers, or stealth to victimize others.

5.  Social services.  Various social services are made available for lawbreakers as an alternative to breaking laws.  Lawbreakers should avail themselves of these social services so they won't need to break laws.

6.  Notification.  Lawbreakers should notify police at least 12 hours in advance of any intended lawbreaking so that police can be present to save the lawbreaker from lawbreaking.  This notification should include the date, time, place, and nature of the intended lawbreaking.

7.  Sensitivity training.  For any lawbreakers who do not understand the value of this Code of Conduct, the Missoula City Council will make sensitivity training sessions available to explain the Code and the good reasons for it to past or future lawbreakers.

8.  Literacy.  The Missoula City Council understands that some lawbreakers simply cannot read.  For any lawbreakers who read about or are reading this Code but cannot read, the Council will direct that lawbreaker to the appropriate literacy program.

9.  Equal opportunity, socially balanced lawbreaking.  Too much of Missoula lawbreaking is committed by non-minority persons, especially white, male, hetero.  Therefore, the Missoula City Council urges less lawbreaking by such non-minority persons so as to allow for more lawbreaking by persons of various minorities.

Published by the Montana Onion