Code of Conduct for Lawbreakers
The Missoula City Council adopts the following Code of Conduct for
anyone intending to violate any federal, state, or local law. The
Council urges all Missoula lawbreakers to read, understand, and
comply with this Code of Conduct:
1. Not committing crimes. Laws are established
for everyone's safety. Lawbreakers should not break
laws. By not breaking laws, lawbreakers will display
consideration for others and make themselves and everyone else
2. Awareness; compliance. By agreeing to this
Code of Conduct, all lawbreakers agree to not break laws.
Lawbreakers should locate and print a copy of this Code of Conduct
and carry that copy with them always, so as to become familiar
with the Code and have it always available for reference and
3. No guns or other weapons. Guns and weapons
are bad, in part because they give lawbreakers an unfair advantage
over unarmed victims. That is socially irresponsible.
Lawbreakers should abstain from using guns or other weapons giving
them an unfair advantage for their lawbreaking.
4. Strength, numbers, or stealth. Lawbreakers
sometimes use the advantages of strength, numbers, or stealth to
dominate their victims. This is socially irresponsible too
because it's just not fair. Lawbreakers should abstain from
using an advantage of strength, numbers, or stealth to victimize
5. Social services. Various social services
are made available for lawbreakers as an alternative to breaking
laws. Lawbreakers should avail themselves of these social
services so they won't need to break laws.
6. Notification. Lawbreakers should notify
police at least 12 hours in advance of any intended lawbreaking so
that police can be present to save the lawbreaker from
lawbreaking. This notification should include the date,
time, place, and nature of the intended lawbreaking.
7. Sensitivity training. For any lawbreakers
who do not understand the value of this Code of Conduct, the
Missoula City Council will make sensitivity training sessions
available to explain the Code and the good reasons for it to past
or future lawbreakers.
8. Literacy. The Missoula City Council
understands that some lawbreakers simply cannot read. For
any lawbreakers who read about or are reading this Code but cannot
read, the Council will direct that lawbreaker to the appropriate
9. Equal opportunity, socially balanced lawbreaking.
Too much of Missoula lawbreaking is committed by non-minority
persons, especially white, male, hetero. Therefore, the
Missoula City Council urges less lawbreaking by such non-minority
persons so as to allow for more lawbreaking by persons of various
Published by the Montana Onion