Montana Rep. Jesse O'Hara Weighs in
on Montana Policy
CYPRESS LAKES, FLORIDA – In the growing debate of election season
politics, Montana's Representative Jesse O'Hara, elected to
represent House District 18 in Great Falls, has sound advice to
offer his constituents, candidates, and others.
“It's obvious” O'Hara said in a prepared statement, “that the
Legislature appropriates far too much money for winter road
maintenance. I have experienced personally here in Florida
that Montana must spend more money to keep alligators off the public
roads.”
O'Hara writes from his new home in Cypress Lakes, Florida where he
moved immediately after the end of the 2013 Montana legislative
session last April.
“I've spent enough years in Montana to know what's best for the
people of HD 18,” O'Hara continued. “If they're worried about
snow removal, they should just get smart and move to Florida like I
did.”
O'Hara also said he's working on a draft bill for one of his friends
still in the Montana Legislature to subsidize and encourage a citrus
industry in Montana. “Just think of all the jobs that would be
created,” he said, “if we just require Montana wheat farmers to
rededicate their fields to orange groves. Hey, it works here
in Florida.”
O'Hara says he is also studying Florida's laws regulating ports and
port facilities, especially those that prevent ships from dumping
waste into harbors. “This is important environmental
legislation I can get my friend in the Montana Legislature to
sponsor. It works well in Florida and could be a critical step
to saving Montana's pristine beaches,” O'Hara declared.
O'Hara is term-limited, so he's prevented by law from running for
reelection to the Montana Legislature. That, he explains, is
why he sold his home in Montana in 2012. “Who would want to
stick around a miserable place like Montana, if they could just up
and move to some place warm that isn't filled with hicks.”
When asked how he could continue to represent the voters of HD 18
while living in Florida, O'Hara responded, “Hey, I lived in Montana
once so I know what the people of Montana need. Heck, I could
still represent HD 18 if I lived in Kenya, and I may yet.”
Sam Snickelgrubber, a loyal O'Hara supporter from HD 18, said that
people are wrong to question O'Hara's ability to represent HD 18
while living in Florida. Snickelgrubber explained,
“Jesse sure knows what people don't like about Montana. That's
exactly why he moved to Florida. What more does a person need
to know than what's not to like about Montana in order to have good
advice about public policy in Montana?”
One of the reasons he moved to Florida, O'Hara said, was because of
how mellow and laid back Florida people are and how easily they can
be persuaded, not at all like the uppity individualists in Montana
who expect to be taken seriously about archaic concepts such as the
Constitution, individual liberty, and states' rights.
O'Hara said he may make one trip to Montana this year, just to claim
residence, but that he probably wouldn't actually leave the airport
and would catch the next flight back to Florida after landing in
Great Falls. “But,” he assured this reporter, “if I do fly in,
I'll certainly have someone snap a picture of me in the airport just
to prove I've been to Great Falls this year.”
Julie O'Hara put up a Web page gushing about the O'Hara's relocation
to Florida. Rep. O'Hara did admit that it created some marital
disharmony when he insisted that Julie take down that Web
page. He explained, “I just didn't want all those people
suffering through the recent Great Falls blizzard to rush to follow
us to Florida. It's crowded enough here without a hoard of
Montana transplants moving in. That would definitely affect
the neighborhood. Of course, they could go to Arizona.
That would be fine.”
Fortunately for Julie, this reporter was able to locate a copy of
Julie's heart-felt Web page at:
http://tinyurl.com/lakk7rj